From Isolation to Connection: An Unlikely Friendship
Despite a life of disappointment and ongoing health issues, a senior finds meaning in life through his love for reading, acts of kindness, and forging friendships in the most unlikely of places
Behind Donald Wee’s seemingly intimidating stature and unapproachable visage lies a voracious reader with a brilliant mind and a kind heart. “I used to have a terrible temper, and I was always angry. But I learnt from reading that when we practise kindness, we not only help others, we feel better ourselves. These days, I genuinely feel happier,” Donald shared candidly.
Listening to Donald, it becomes clear that his insights were hard-earned through numerous trials. His life has been profoundly shaped by a turbulent childhood with a verbally abusive mother, early retrenchment from the army, and ongoing battles with both mental and physical health issues. “Because of my mother, I developed a fear of marriage. I asked myself: What if I married a woman like her?” he shared. Donald chose to remain single and has lived alone ever since. As he aged, his health condition further limited his mobility. Today, he uses a portable breathing machine and a wheelchair. While Donald’s siblings are very supportive, age has also caught up with them, making it more challenging for them to visit. “Over the years, I’ve also seen many close friends succumb to illnesses,” Donald lamented.
Despite these hardships, Donald credits his ability to overcome life’s challenges to his two supportive sisters, his Christian faith, and a mentor he met in secondary school. “My mentor told me, ‘Donald, you have to read if you want to survive in this harsh world,’ and she nurtured my love for books. And I’ve read many, especially self-help books,” Donald said with a smile, pulling out his phone to show the titles in his reading app. “Lately, I’ve been exploring articles about artificial intelligence. I find it fascinating. More importantly, it’s good to stay relevant.”
Although reading became a meaningful pastime, the absence of family and friends led to Donald experiencing social isolation and severe mood swings. Things began to turn around when his sister, Grace, reached out to MWS Active Ageing Centre – Kebun Baru (KBAAC) for support. Since then, Donald has developed a close friendship with Shawn Tay, a volunteer management staff member at the Centre.
In the last four years, their friendship has flourished especially with Shawn’s weekly visits. “I used to play the guitar and was a busker, but I stopped for many years. With Shawn’s encouragement, I picked it up again. I have many wonderful memories of us playing worship songs together,” Donald shared. This friendship holds special meaning for Donald, who often struggles to find like-minded individuals who share his love for reading. Despite the differences in age, life circumstances, and interests, Donald appreciates Shawn’s patience and empathy.
Shawn has also noticed significant improvements in Donald’s mood and overall well-being. “Donald is candid, often smiling, and always generous, especially towards his friends. Even though he doesn’t have much, he constantly looks for opportunities to bless others,” Shawn said. “I’m glad that we can support and connect with seniors like Donald who experience social isolation and would benefit from genuine friendships. Through weekly visits and occasional festive events, Donald’s world has become brighter, and I’m honoured to be a part of that light.”
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