Finding Light in Life’s Transitions
A senior battled with a poverty of hope navigating retirement blues and bereavement… until she found purpose and fulfilment in creative pursuits
Five years ago, Mdm Tan Kim Choo suffered an unimaginable loss when both her husband and elder daughter passed away within months of each other. Immersed in work at that time, she scarcely had a moment to mourn. However, after retiring in 2022, the 75-year-old found herself overwhelmed by delayed waves of grief, coupled with feelings of hopelessness and inadequacy.
“I spent most of my time at home. I felt useless and life seemed meaningless,” recounted Mdm Tan. At the same time, negative thoughts consumed her, and the weight of the loss of her family was crushing. “I cried often as I missed my late husband and elder daughter, and was feeling very down all the time,” she said.
Her 43-year-old daughter, Karen, bore the brunt of it. “My mum would message me all the time when I was at work to ask me things like, ‘Is the clock at home working?’ I found it quite irritating,” she admitted.
“I also noticed she was displaying signs of depression, and was becoming very clingy and emotionally needy,” added Karen, who lives with her mum and a helper.
Pursuing passion
Upon a friend’s recommendation, Mdm Tan started frequenting MWS Active Ageing Centre – Teck Ghee Vista. Since then, she has discovered joy and purpose through creative pursuits like sewing, crafting and colouring – things she never had the chance to explore in her youth.
“I have always loved sewing and craftwork, but I couldn’t pursue them in my younger days because my family could not afford the materials,” said Mdm Tan, one of four children born to a housewife and a coolie worker.
But Mdm Tan is making up for lost time. She especially enjoys colouring sessions at the Centre, guided by MWS volunteer Mr Ang Thiam Kiat, a stroke survivor and skilled artist. His encouragement has shattered Mdm Tan’s limiting beliefs, challenging her artistically.
Empowering generations
Consequently, Mdm Tan’s new pursuits inspired Karen to overcome her fear of trying new things. “It’s like a domino effect. Seeing my mum pursue new hobbies like colouring and crafts gave me the courage to tackle building a Lego set – a dream I had long feared pursuing due to a fear of failure. I realised that if my mum could do it, so could I,” she reflected.
Karen’s newfound confidence extends to facing major changes at work, as she learns from her mum that change isn’t daunting – it’s manageable.
At the same time, Mdm Tan’s resiliency has also rubbed off on her daughter.
“My mum is happier these days as she has less time to dwell on her bereavement – and that also helps me to maintain a positive outlook,” said Karen. “Despite feeling the loneliness after the losses in our family, the Centre has been instrumental in easing my mum’s pain.”
MWS aims to empower individuals like Mdm Tan and Karen to break the cycle of intergenerational poverty. Poverty encompasses more than just financial distress; it can include emotional emptiness, lack of social support, and unfulfilled experiences. Through empowerment, we aim for a positive impact on future generations.
“My mum is happier these days as she has less time to dwell on her bereavement – and that also helps me to maintain a positive outlook. Despite feeling the loneliness after the losses in our family, (MWS Active Ageing Centre – Teck Ghee Vista) has been instrumental in easing my mum’s pain.”
These days, Mdm Tan’s life brims with purpose, fulfilment and opportunities for personal growth. “Since joining the Centre, I feel more alert and energised, because my days are occupied with a variety of activities like exercises and craftwork,” she shared.
Mdm Tan’s experience highlights the need for holistic support that addresses emotional and social well-being, alongside financial needs, to uplift individuals from poverty in all its forms.
Karen knows this all too well and is grateful for the Centre’s support for her mum, saying, “Without it, she would have no meaning in life.”
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